A recent study by psychologists at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology has identified the most successful flirting methods for both men and women. The researchers examined college students from the US and Norway who were all heterosexual. The participants were surveyed to evaluate the effectiveness of 40 different flirting strategies in the context of seeking either a short-term or long-term relationship, taking into account the gender of the flirter. Additionally, the researchers considered the participants’ extroversion levels, age, religiosity, willingness to be in a relationship, and attractiveness in the dating market.“The most effective techniques depend on your gender and the nature of the flirtation, whether it’s intended for a short-term or long-term relationship,” explained Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, professor of psychology at Norwegian University of Science and Technology.For women seeking short-term relationships, the study found that signals of sexual availability are deemed most effective. Friendly gestures such as hugging or a friendly kiss on the cheek are not sufficient in such scenarios. Therefore, women aiming for a brief fling are advised to employ cues that emphasize sexual availability, like physical contact, moving closer, and making body contact. Men seeking short-term flings, on the other hand, cannot rely solely on one technique.”The strategies rated most successful for women in a one-night stand context were primarily sexual or physical,” the researchers noted. “In comparison, men were deemed more effective if they combined physical and sexual tactics with smiling, showing interest in conversations, giving compliments, and making their partner laugh.”For men interested in longer-term relationships, displaying generosity and a readiness to commit was found to be most effective. However, when it comes to general flirting advice, there was one type of tactic that was universally deemed effective. “Humor, or the ability to make another person laugh, is perceived as the most effective tactic for men seeking long-term relationships. For women seeking a one-night stand, humor is least effective. However, for both genders, laughing at the other person’s jokes is an effective flirting tactic,” Kennair explained. This finding held true for participants from both the US and Norway. “It’s not only effective to be humorous,” added co-author Rebecca Burch from SUNY Oswego, US. “But for women, it is important to show your potential partner that you find them funny”.If you struggle with being funny, Kennair suggests starting with another effective flirting technique – smiling and making eye contact – before working on developing other skills from that baseline.The study has been published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology.
