Every so often, I’m asked by mothers of young children for the secret to raising fantastic teenagers. Honestly, I have no clue. My kids are who they are despite having me as a mother. I know that’s not very helpful to young moms. The reality is that the myth of teenagers being sullen, angry beings who hate their parents is just that, a myth. Some teens may fit that description, but the majority are not like that at all. Teenagers are extraordinary. They are funny, smart, eager to please, and are up for almost anything, especially if food is involved. They have big hearts and crave love and validation. They are quirky and messy and have an amazing sense of humor. So here is a list of “rules” for raising teens; these are the secrets we have found to be successful.All the photos used here are mine, used with permission.Happy moments on the couch.1. Love them unconditionally.Love everything about them, including the annoying stuff. Love them for their actions and intentions. Let them know in words and actions how much you adore them, every day. Love their flaws and imperfections. All these seemingly trivial details are part of a miraculous process. It’s a privilege to witness such remarkable growth. See your teens as a privilege, not a burden. They can tell how you feel about them, so just love them.2. Listen and be present.When they come home from school, take a few minutes to really listen to them. Put away the distractions and make their victories your victories. Be empathetic and don’t offer advice unless they ask for it. Just listen and make them feel important and valued.3. Say yes more than no.They will hear “no” from the world enough. Be the voice that tells them “yes, you can.” Instill in them the belief that they are not limited and encourage them to work hard for what they want.4. Say no when necessary.Set boundaries to protect your child from harm or unhappiness. Be the parent who looks out for their safety, both physical and moral.5. Feed them a lot.Provide plenty of food for their growing bodies and their friends. This allows you to get to know their friends and keep an eye on your teen.6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.Understand that living with teenagers means dealing with mess and disorganization. Instead of getting upset, try to understand their perspective first. Show them affection and listen to them before addressing any issues. Choose your battles and timing wisely.7. Stand back and watch them grow.All the photos used here are mine, used with permission.Capturing a funny moment.If you let them, these amazing creatures will open their hearts and love you fiercely. They are brilliant, capable, strong spirits who bring a lot of happiness. They are funny, clever, thoughtful, and sensitive. They need and want our love. They are truly a gift from God to parents. Christie Halversson originally wrote this article on 08.20.19.
All the photos used here are mine, used with permission.Happy moments on the couch.1. Love them unconditionally.Love everything about them, including the annoying stuff. Love them for their actions and intentions. Let them know in words and actions how much you adore them, every day. Love their flaws and imperfections. All these seemingly trivial details are part of a miraculous process. It’s a privilege to witness such remarkable growth. See your teens as a privilege, not a burden. They can tell how you feel about them, so just love them.2. Listen and be present.When they come home from school, take a few minutes to really listen to them. Put away the distractions and make their victories your victories. Be empathetic and don’t offer advice unless they ask for it. Just listen and make them feel important and valued.3. Say yes more than no.They will hear “no” from the world enough. Be the voice that tells them “yes, you can.” Instill in them the belief that they are not limited and encourage them to work hard for what they want.4. Say no when necessary.Set boundaries to protect your child from harm or unhappiness. Be the parent who looks out for their safety, both physical and moral.5. Feed them a lot.Provide plenty of food for their growing bodies and their friends. This allows you to get to know their friends and keep an eye on your teen.6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.Understand that living with teenagers means dealing with mess and disorganization. Instead of getting upset, try to understand their perspective first. Show them affection and listen to them before addressing any issues. Choose your battles and timing wisely.7. Stand back and watch them grow.
All the photos used here are mine, used with permission.Capturing a funny moment.If you let them, these amazing creatures will open their hearts and love you fiercely. They are brilliant, capable, strong spirits who bring a lot of happiness. They are funny, clever, thoughtful, and sensitive. They need and want our love. They are truly a gift from God to parents. Christie Halversson originally wrote this article on 08.20.19.
