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Pricey Care and Feeding,
I’ve a 12-year-old who lives for choir and musical theater. She’s been taking piano classes for 4 years and hasn’t ever truly been into it the best way she is into making a song.
She likes to play the piano, however she hates having to observe. I need her to stay taking piano classes, as a result of 1) It’s any such just right spouse to the choir stuff (if she comes to a decision to do tune for a dwelling, she’ll have a head get started with already understanding piano and having the ability to learn tune—one thing they don’t learn about in her choir) 2) we now have requested each our youngsters to select and stick to a musical software and an arranged recreation or bodily job, and she or he has little interest in every other software (or a recreation for what it’s price); 3) we imagine strongly in some great benefits of musicianship and of wanting to observe and paintings at one thing. It additionally bothers me that her major argument for quitting piano is that her trainer makes her stay her fingernails shorter than she’d like them to be. I’m certain there are different causes, however she’s a tween and that’s all she’s mentioned out loud. In just about each and every different extracurricular, we’ve let the youngsters make a choice whether or not to take part and what sort of. Am I making my child depressing as a result of I feel sorry about quitting piano as a kid? Is it affordable to invite that the youngsters play tune whether or not they need to or now not?
—To Surrender or To not Surrender
Pricey Surrender,
I’m very a lot in prefer of youngsters finding out to learn tune and to play an software (and I’ve a different affection for the piano, and I imagine it’s a ravishing first software for someone). However your daughter has 4 years of classes at the back of her, she likes to play the piano, and she or he is aware of methods to learn tune. Plus: She “lives for” choir and musical theater, which I guess approach she likes to sing and does a large number of it. The voice is an software too, you realize—don’t overlook that. If you need her to observe and paintings onerous at one thing and also you “imagine strongly in some great benefits of musicianship,” why now not be offering her voice classes? Twelve is as regards to sufficiently old to start out them, and I’m having a bet she would bounce on the be offering. And that she would willingly observe for the ones classes, too. As for a bodily job, have you thought about dance? Your child doesn’t like sports activities . If she’s into musical theater, I will’t believe she wouldn’t need to a minimum of take a look at a dance magnificence.
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And take a look at is the operative phrase. I’m now not loopy concerning the “pick out one recreation/job and one software” directive. Whilst I’m all in prefer of each an advent to tune and a whole lot of alternatives for bodily job of other forms, the entire “pick out one” and keep on with it industry moves me as tyrannical. She’s 12. She was once simplest 8 when she began piano classes. It doesn’t matter what her causes are for in need of to give up the ones classes now (come to consider it, the similar age I used to be after I give up, and I began earlier than I used to be 6—and round the similar age my child was once when she give up—and each she and I will learn tune rather well to at the moment), if she’s now not playing piano classes, the one results of forcing her to proceed them will probably be to make her hate the piano. Don’t do this. Construct some flexibility into all this—and don’t let your adult-sized feel sorry about about quitting piano as a child rule you on the subject of your personal kid. What’s improper with making an attempt one thing and learning it’s now not a just right have compatibility, then making an attempt one thing else? Or perhaps choir and musical theater are masses for her at the moment. So long as she’s transferring her frame (at the playground, on a trampoline, no matter), if she’s making a song and doing theater and going to university on a daily basis, she is masses busy.
There are many issues one can observe and recuperate at, and I hate to damage it to you, however now not everyone seems to be into pageant (I’ve all the time hated any roughly pageant). Observe your child’s lead. And through the best way, it’s untimely to fret about whether or not she might come to a decision to “do tune” as a profession. If she does, there’s quite a few time for her to comb off the ones piano abilities she obtained at an early age. They’re now not going anyplace, particularly in the event you don’t purpose her to show her again on an software she likes to play.
—Michelle
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