Two Factors That Enable “Fluid Relationships” to Thrive, According to Scientific Research

Until recently, relationships typically adhered to a traditional narrative. They followed predictable stages and had established expectations, including dating, marriage, and living together, all governed by unspoken rules.

However, a new wave of acceptance and open-mindedness has emerged, ushering in an era where love isn’t constrained by tradition. The recognition and acceptance of same-sex couples, once taboo in many cultures, is now widely celebrated. Similarly, open relationships, once shrouded in secrecy, now have vocal advocates. Additionally, living-apart-together marriages challenge the conventional belief that marital success depends on cohabitation.

Cultural shifts, increased global connectivity, and a desire for personal authenticity are contributing factors to this change. As people become exposed to diverse cultures and ideas, there is a growing realization that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. Furthermore, as mental health and individual well-being take precedence, there is a heightened focus on relationships that genuinely cater to emotional needs rather than conforming to societal norms. This evolution allows for more authentic self-expression, which is where the concept of a “fluid relationship” comes into play.

Compared to other types of relationships, both traditional and non-traditional, a fluid relationship possesses two key characteristics that make it an appealing option for individuals seeking commitment without sacrificing personal freedom.

1. Prioritizing the Independent Emotional and Physical Needs of Partners

In contrast to open relationships, where there is often an explicit understanding about external partners, fluid relationships are not primarily defined by the presence or absence of other sexual or romantic partners. The bond between the primary partners may transcend these factors, prioritizing emotional connection, mutual growth, or other unique dynamics tailored to their needs.

For example, in a fluid relationship, if the partners are experiencing a period of decreased intimacy, consensual non-monogamy may be an option they are willing to discuss. In a traditional relationship, the focus might be on resolving the lack of intimacy together through therapy, which can be a slow and time-consuming process. Alternatively, infidelity may occur in such cases.

While opening up a relationship may seem risky, research suggests that it carries less risk than expected as long as both partners are in agreement about the reasons for doing so. A study published in 2020 in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that opening up a relationship did not necessarily lead to decreased life satisfaction or relationship quality for couples who chose this path primarily due to sexual incompatibility with their partners.

2. Emphasizing Flexibility and Adaptability

The essence of a “fluid” relationship lies in its capacity for change. It recognizes the ebb and flow of life, ensuring that the relationship remains relevant and supportive. Whether navigating temporary long-distance phases, changes in life priorities, or personal growth trajectories, a fluid relationship is resilient, adapting itself to the evolving needs of the partners involved.

A meta-analysis published in 2020 in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science revealed that individuals who were inflexible often experienced poor relationship outcomes. They were more likely to have weaker bonds with their partners, have unsatisfying sex lives, and engage in unhealthy relationship behaviors such as shouting, screaming, and domestic violence.

In a fluid relationship, both partners understand that the relationship is built on adaptability. If either partner encounters behavior in the other that they are unhappy with, there is a mutual understanding that they are not obligated to remain in the relationship to fix the issue. This opens up new opportunities for resolving conflicts.

While some differences between partners can be worked through, accepting one’s partner for who they are is a fundamental aspect of fluid relationships. This does not mean that partners are excused for any and all behavior – open communication is still vital in any relationship, fluid or otherwise.

Consider the recent incident involving Grimes and Shivon Zilis, both romantically linked to Elon Musk. Although Grimes has described her relationship with Musk as “fluid,” she was upset upon learning about his twins with Zilis in 2021, along with the rest of the world. However, the two women have since cleared the air and appear to be on good terms, as evidenced by their interactions on social media. Grimes’ main source of discontent seemed to be with how the information was communicated, rather than the information itself.

This incident underscores the notion that while fluid relationships offer flexibility, they also require genuine effort and mutual respect. Regardless of the label, relationships demand work, understanding, and often, a great deal of patience.

Conclusion

In the evolving landscape of relationships, the appeal of fluidity lies in its promise of authenticity and adaptability. However, as with all forms of partnerships, success hinges on clear communication, mutual respect, and shared values. At its core, a fluid relationship goes beyond adaptability; it aims to create a space where both partners feel valued, understood, and free to grow together. Whether one chooses to embrace this approach or not, the ultimate goal remains the same: fostering a bond that nurtures and enriches both individuals involved.