Narcissists have a destructive impact on nearly every aspect of an intimate relationship. They lack empathy, are drawn to conflict, require constant attention and validation, and become unbearable when these needs are not met. This personality style also has implications for sexual relationships. According to experts, narcissists can be passionate and skilled sexual partners, adding yet another layer of confusion to their relationships. People might find themselves in a predicament where they describe a relationship with a narcissist as a nightmare, yet admit that the sex is exceptional.
However, it’s crucial not to be misled. While sex with a narcissist may appear sensational, it typically serves the narcissist’s needs rather than the partner’s. Narcissistic individuals are highly sensitive to rewards and are driven by their desire for gratification without considering the consequences. Hence, sex becomes the ultimate playing field for their narcissism.
Narcissists predominantly seek attention, validation, and admiration, turning sex into another opportunity to pursue these elements, collectively known as narcissistic supply. As a result, narcissists may take pride in their sexual performance not because they genuinely care about their partners, but because it boosts their egos. They use sex as a means for validation and ego fulfillment.
Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists view sex as transactional, which may lead to engaging in casual sex and one-night stands without hesitation. Additionally, they may manipulate their new romantic partners into having sex early on in the relationship, often disregarding their partners’ desires.
Furthermore, once deeply involved in a relationship, it’s common for narcissists to use sex as a tool for manipulation. They may withhold sex to control their partners or shame their partners’ sexual performance, and it’s not unusual for sex to become infrequent or non-existent as the relationship progresses. Sex with a narcissist is often performative and adds to the hot-and-cold nature of the relationship, where a narcissist’s passion and care can dissipate as soon as the sexual encounter concludes.
It’s important to note that a relationship should not be evaluated solely based on the sexual experience. The presence of good sex does not automatically signify a healthy relationship. In a narcissistic relationship, the complexity of the interpersonal space is intensified, as it often lacks empathy, intimacy, compassion, and safety, rendering the sexual experience even more intricate and challenging.
